Friday, May 29, 2009
It took just over a year after my marriage before I was blessed with my first pregnancy and a few months later blessed with a beautiful daughter. Even that year was hard for me even though I know in comparison to many, one year is not long to wait. I thought my dream of at least six children was on it's way. But after this first pregnancy there were no more for seven years.
For the first several of those years, I spent much time praying and reading infertility articles and taking infertility tests which never revealed the reason I was not becoming pregnant. I felt confused and saddened when I was around others who were able to have children even when they were not married, or did not want their children or . . . many things seemed unfair. I wondered what I had done to make me unfit to have the many children I had hoped for.
Eventually, I fell into a deep depression and for some months was unable to even care for myself properly. But during that time there were many miracles.
1) I learned that it was important for me to be happy being me and to find out who I really was and what God wanted me to do.
2) I learned that God loved me and had other purposes for me along with the important opportunity of being a mother.
3) I learned that sometimes less is more and that I had a singular opportunity to give everything I had to my one precious daughter
4) I learned to desire what God wanted for me instead of what I wanted and to trust in His direction and His timing in the events of my life
5) I learned the probable cause of my infertility and depression when tests revealed thyroid problems and Graves Disease.
6) I learned to be thankful and that gratitude brings the light back when depression threatens to cloud it.
7) I learned how to feel the true sadness in some things in my life without losing the gratitude and the hope.
Because of those lessons I was able to see these miscarriages as blessings. I don't know God's plan for me and my life but I do know that He is aware of me and that I can be happy in whatever that plan is. I was even able to have great discussions with my daughter about why her consistent prayers for a baby brother or sister have not been fulfilled yet and she has been able to happily decide to keep praying and never give up but also to see the blessings she has by being the only child in our family.
I feel so happy to see the great strides and progress I have made so that now my emotional health is much more stable and disappointments, even very large ones, do not have as many detrimental effects on me. Even when my thyroid and hormone levels are not right and things are more challenging I am learning to be a better mom and enjoy each moment as it comes.
Thursday, May 28, 2009
Monday, May 11, 2009
Sunday, May 10, 2009
I think the reason that is the main part of the lessons that stood out to me is because of my personal experience of depression. I was badly depressed and withdrawn for about three years before I found out about my thyroid problem (Graves Disease) and was able to have treatment and become myself again. During that time it was hard to want to be around other people. I just wanted to be alone. But family encouraged me to still look for friends and force myself to do things with other people. Even the answer to my prayers kept being "find good friends." I am glad that I did.
I found a group of women who met to work out early in the morning. The workout helped me in working through the harder times with my thyroid levels, even after the problem was diagnosed, and gave me a chance to be with friends daily. They also were good listeners and didn't judge me when I was a little "off" and more withdrawn or emotional. I was also able to help care for their children on their turn to go exercise (we all took turns with the kids) and also to listen and be a support for them through their challenges. I know that being with others gave me a chance to benefit from the spiritual gifts of others and to be able to contribute mine as well.
Sunday School Member Study Guide and related scriptures
Parable of the Talents: Matthew 25:14-30
Friday, May 8, 2009
One simple way is to subscribe to citizenlink to keep updated and informed.
The most important way is to pray for our elected officals! It does make a difference
Tuesday, May 5, 2009
http://powells.com/ (This one accepted lots of books, they offer paypal compensation)
http://www.textbookwheel.com/ (This one accepted the most books, and paid good prices)
A pretty style I did on my daughter's hair was a round braid like a crown all around her head. On the outside, it is a french braid (pulling up sections of hair from the outside as I go around) but the inside of the braid is regular (not pulling any new sections in with it). The next morning it still looked really nice but my daughter didn't realize it so she started to take it out. I found her just in time and rescued it by pulling the undone portion into a cute side ponytail. It looks beautiful.
My favorite places to get hair ideas for little girls are:
http://babesinhairland.blogspot.com/ . . . I just checked this site out again and found that she has a great video and typed directions as well for the full crown round braid that is similar to mine. Check it out under her videos section.
When my husband is gone it is fun to listen to these songs and miss him. Or when I have a rare day where I have the house to myself I love to turn music up loud and sing along and do some deep cleaning. I have loved to do that since I was a teenager. I was the oldest of ten children and having time in the house alone was very rare but was sure fun when it happened. Sometimes I stayed home from family outings on purpose so I could have that special time to myself. I'm sure my mom loved the cleaner house when they all came back too.
Monday, May 4, 2009
So I wanted to come up with a fun way to clean the house since we were a little behind today. I said that we were "Clean-up Fairies" and when the music played we would quickly clean and then stop and become humans again whenever the music stopped.
It was really fun. My daughter really got into it and even decided to clean out and organize my tupperware drawer and my kitchen towel drawer. Each time I stopped the music we would start to "wonder" what happened to all of our stuff. Each time the music began again we became magic fairies trying to surprise and help the humans. It was really fun!!
My favorite workout is "Total Body Workout" aired on BYU Television and KBYUTV http://www.byub.org/totalbodyWorkout/episodes.asp. It can be watched at anytime online (and your choice of the episode of today or from the past six weeks) or at scheduled time on those two TV channels. It is an hour long so sometimes on my more "off" days I can only do half of it but it is still a good workout then too.
The main reason it is my favorite is because it automatically sets up a complete physical fitness program for me including stretching, strength training and aerobics because the episodes are arranged each day to rotate between those focuses for a well rounded routine. If I simply do the program that is on each day, I automatically have worked out all those areas of my body. It is a fun surprise to find out what the focus will be each day. Some other reasons I like it are
1) The music and the dress don't make me uncomfortable or distracted as I workout.
2) The teacher explains things simply and I feel like I am learning new things.
3) They do a lot of yoga which I really love.
4) There are several ages and conditions represented for each workout: older, middle and younger; advanced and beginner; flexible or not; pregnant; both men and women.
5) The equipment can be as simple as I want (for example they use disks sometimes and I don't have them so they recommend a paper plate or I have even used a plain sheet of paper to slide my feet on. . . it is a lot of fun) and they always have someone representing those who don't have the equipment.
Sunday, May 3, 2009
1) choose some things to do just for fun.
2) Change the way you look at what you are doing. If you look at it as work it will not be fun even if it is something you enjoy.
Well, I have had some fun experimenting with both of those suggestions since then. One of my favorite new luxuries is that I followed option #2 above and decided that when I get ready in the morning I will have fun, not rush quite as fast, and enjoy a pamper session. Now I really look forward to my bubble bath or shower, make-up and a fun hair-do even if some days it is only a quick ponytail. And if I have 20 minutes instead of 15 I can even add a bracelet or necklace too. It is a simple change but has made a big difference. I really look forward to my own personal pamper session almost every morning.