I soon realized that my waiting had only begun. It was seven years of hoping before I finally found out I was expecting my second child. Only a few days later, I found out I was going to miscarry. I wondered why I would finally be allowed to carry a child only to let it go so soon. My daughter had prayed so often for a little sister. My husband and I had prayed countless times. However, I tried to make sure that my prayers always included the words “according to thy will.”
I knew I faced a critical decision after that miscarriage: Do I become discouraged and disheartened? Or do I decide to be thankful for even that brief time of the joy of carrying a new life within me. I had enough experience with disappointment. I wanted to be grateful. Another miscarriage followed and I again chose to be thankful for the miracle of pregnancy no matter what happened.
I was traveling in Guatemala a few months later when I found out that I was expecting again. I knew there was a high chance I would miscarry early (I have Graves disease which often is related to high thyroid levels and can make it difficult to keep a pregnancy), but the happiness I felt in becoming pregnant for a third time in one year after enduring seven years of unfruitful hopes, was stronger than my fear. I decided to climb the ruins and experience the other things on my vacation and focus on enjoying the journey whichever direction it took me. I was blessed with another beautiful baby girl.
It has been almost two years since I had my second daughter. I was thrilled to discover that I was not required to wait seven years this time. Then the miscarriage started the next day. Once again I am doing my best to willingly wait on the Lord’s will for me. I have decided that being willing is more important than being successful . I know my Heavenly Father accepts my desires and my best efforts even when they don’t seem to bear much fruit. I am so thankful for His lessons in patience.