I soon realized that
my waiting had only begun. It was seven
years of hoping before I finally found out I was expecting my second
child. Only a few days later, I found
out I was going to miscarry. I wondered
why I would finally be allowed to carry a child only to let it go so soon. My daughter had prayed so often for a little
sister. My husband and I had prayed
countless times. However, I tried to
make sure that my prayers always included the words “according to thy
will.”
I knew I faced a critical decision after that
miscarriage: Do I become discouraged and
disheartened? Or do I decide to be
thankful for even that brief time of the joy of carrying a new life within
me. I had enough experience with
disappointment. I wanted to be grateful. Another miscarriage followed and I again
chose to be thankful for the miracle of pregnancy no matter what happened.
I was traveling in Guatemala a few months later when I found
out that I was expecting again. I knew
there was a high chance I would miscarry early (I have Graves disease which
often is related to high thyroid levels and can make it difficult to keep a pregnancy),
but the happiness I felt in becoming pregnant for a third time in one year
after enduring seven years of unfruitful hopes, was stronger than my fear. I decided to climb the ruins and experience
the other things on my vacation and focus on enjoying the journey whichever
direction it took me. I was blessed with another beautiful baby girl.
It has been almost two years since I had my second
daughter. I was thrilled to discover
that I was not required to wait seven years this time. Then the miscarriage started the next
day. Once again I am doing my best to
willingly wait on the Lord’s will for me.
I have decided that being willing is more important than being
successful . I know my Heavenly Father
accepts my desires and my best efforts even when they don’t seem to bear much
fruit. I am so thankful for His lessons
in patience.
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